The word, Hero is thrown around so liberally these days that when someone comes along that is truly deserving of all my love and adoration, it seems trite to call him my new hero.
Here's my new hero. Bruce Makowsky. Love child of Bill Hunter and Chas Bono. Brucie & his wife, Kathy Van Zeeland, spent 30 years making handbags [a great review of same!] and shoes, which they flogged on QVC with the zeal of Pontius Pilate having a whack at Jeebus. They sold the business in 2008 to Hong Kong-based trading company Li & Fung Ltd for $495 million. The ultimate flog.
So, what's lil Chaz been up to? Well, now he flips houses. Big houses. Like, really, proper big houses, filled to the brim with gold plated tack.
“There was a void of homes for super-wealthy people, and that’s why I did it,” Makowsky said while sitting near the curved 54-foot (16-meter) glass wall that slides open to an infinity pool with iPad-controlled fountains. “I don’t think there’s anybody who’s served up $85 million-to-$100 million homes at this level for somebody to step into and buy.”
When you see a hole in the market...
“Clearly, the buyer that I’m trying to attract is a very narrow group of people,” Makowsky said during a tour of his latest project. A two-story, 22,300-square-foot Beverly Hills home.
According to bloomberg.com Makowsky led an hour-long tour of the house - all the while citing prices and brands of furniture and fixtures, speaking in the patter that made him a QVC star. And in the manner of the gauche, nouveau riché. Bloomberg reports, A 24-person dining-room table has place settings by Roberto Cavalli priced at $3,700 each, and the living room has 10 chairs designed by Bentley Motors that cost $56,000 apiece. A climate-controlled wine cellar is stocked with Dom Perignon and Perrier-Jouet champagne along with Cohiba and Montecristo cigars. Fifty-six-thousand dollar dining chairs. For one chair. $56k.
Ponderously, Makowsky keeps talking, “I want every detail inside of the house to be as good as the view,” he said. “I will tell you because I’m not going to sell you.” that doesn't even make gramatical sense?! Could he get, stupider? Oh, you know he can! “People are really starting to care what their house looks like more than ever -- the really wealthy people.” If there's one thing I've ever said about poor people it's that they just don't give two kinds of beige shit what sort of aesthetic display their domiciles project. This is why poor people can't nor should have nice things. [For the record, if you paid less than 40mil for your little brick veneer quib, you fall in to poor people category. Shame on you.]
So, who bought the white mess up on Hillcrest with the $130,000 'candy wall' filled with $70,000 worth of jellybeans, chokkies and other cavity makers? Who wants a house with eight bedrooms and 15 bathrooms, each of the latter equipped with a $5,600 shitter for a total toilet acquisition cost of $84,000? Was it Jay Z and Beyonce? We know they inspected the property more than once? Was it Larry Ellison - co-founder of Oracle and giant boat haver?
Nope! T'was 35-year-old Swedish billionaire Markus “Notch” Persson. The Minecraft dude. Yup, the Minecraft dude. He paid $70,000,000. Suck it, Makowsky, $15,000,000 under asking. Way to cave in, dude!
Viva la Ostentacious Wealth!