Navigation
Twiddah
sign up
« Hot Cross What? | Main
Thursday
Apr062006

Less "The Blob", more "Look Who's Talking Two".

Backaches, dizziness, hemorrhoids, "Up to 50% of pregnant women get hemorrhoids" one pregnancy website cheerfully exclaims. "Leg cramps, nasal problems, shortness of breath and swelling." It continues, "constipation, heartburn and indigestion. Stretch marks, tingling and itching extremities. Sleep disturbances and weight gain." But really, wouldnt ebola be quicker?

Come back later, Im sleeping...
Hey, they forgot morning sickness. Or, in my case, morning / midday / evening/night sickness. Mornings not enough, eh? After a particularly bad day of nausea and constant vomiting Bonsoir Fancy Pants had a brilliant idea. "Why don't we get a mini trampoline - so you can practice shaking the baby?" It's genius I tells ya!

We're about 14 weeks along now. Baby now has a gobful of creepy teethbuds and all it's wee fingers and toes. It appears to have a cracking spine and feet so cute I could just punch it in the face. I went in for my ultrasound today, the child would not sit still long enough for a proper pic but instead flipped and twirled, waved it's bony little arms around and pulled faces. It really is amazing to watch. Creepy and amazing.

side profile - please note creepy baby teeth buds
Next week however, we lean far more heavily on the side of creepy - we go in for an amniocentesis. Mmmm, knit me a wig and call me "Eager"... For the uninitiated an amnio consists of two parts. First an ultrasound tech finds the baby who is hopefully MUCH calmer than it was today... (I'll be 15 weeks by then, and therefore can surely start drinking again? I am a thinker!) once the tech has the baby lined up the doctor takes a running start from the other side of the room with a large, lance/pole vault pole type instrument. When close to the patient (ie: me!) he/she launches him/herself at me stabbing the lance/pole vault into my belly, past the ever diminishing layer of fat (dont worry, there's plenty left!) and into the amnioctic sac (the baby's indoor pool). The entire procedure takes about 9 hours (30 mins) and causes little to no discomfort (to the Ultrasound tech).

It is these hideous insults that the baby is putting me through that makes me enjoy all the more, the name game. Here are the current favourites. Senator (still going strong). Twelve (a name that can not be shortened) Fitzroy (which can but wont if it wins). We like Comma and Slashdot (for a middle name, not a first). Ah yes, mother shall get her revenge... heh

In other non-me related news - Sadly today we hear of the demise of Miss Itchy's favourite singer, songwriter, dance man extraordinaire. Gene Pitney. There are 24 hours to Tulsa indeed Gene, may your journey be smooth all the way to Mecca. Miss Gerda will always love you Gene Francis Alan Pitney. "She would bash rats for your Gene." RIP.

More news to come.

Feel free to join the name game, remeber no Matthews, no Lauras. No Bland or Borings. We're looking for FUN unique names. Step right up, name a baby, win a prize!

Much love to all from us all.

Fabulous Moi, BPF and The Four Inch Vomit Machine. xxxx
For those playing at home, 50lbs remain lost to the Carb Fairy,
1lb gained by the baby. Mother 50 Baby 1

.pregnancy

References (1)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.

Reader Comments (7)

Just to save everyone time - other names already on our candidates list include (in no particular order):
Apostrophe
Catastrophe
FEMA
Accident
Cantaloupe
Xanax
Rover
Temporary
Fluffy
W
Stench
Cholesterol
Sambuca
Nasty
Stick
Holster
Guesswork
Chimney
Slinky
Retard
Asphalt

My preference would be a name which the kid won't go through life having to spell over the phone every day; that's about all I'm concerned with.

April 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBen

Congrats kids!!

April 7, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

How about "Pitney Parxman Rollerblade"?
I like Rollerblade. Rolly for short.
Cheers and congrats you old bugger.

April 17, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterParxman

Vegemite.

April 18, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterhinty

HA! Vegemite goes on the list.

April 18, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterPrincess Normal

just boy or girl and give this old chook breathing space !! AND both can be spelt by even a dodo !! and aunty helen almost fell off the chair when i said fitzroy was on the cards !!!!!!!!!!

April 18, 2006 | Unregistered Commentergran

Faben Coffee-table Scott-Younger... just to be obvious

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>