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Sunday
Dec252016

A Merry Xmas - Reboot

Because this year as been insanely busy - please enjoy this reboot of our 2005 Xmas Card!

Nothing says, I love you like an eleven year old card. 

OUR 2005 XMAS CARD

 

Sunday
Jul102016

Star Wars Graham Crackers 

 

Monday
Jun132016

Orlando

You guys didn't get mad enough when TWENTY little white pre-schoolers were killed in 2012 at Sandy Hook. It's ok, I don't expect much of anything except a few days public grief for FIFTY more lives. 

As you were, America. 


Wednesday
Jan062016

Baby Dance Party with a Vaginal Sound System or What Else Can I Shove Up My Whelp-Hole?

New tech is SO cool. And it's everywhere. Like, Sunfire Built A Machine That Transforms Water Into Fuel And It Works Perhaps you're looking for something for your hospital? Coat Your Walls With Paint Shield And Turn Them Into Germ-Killing, Anti-Microbial Surfaces or more importantly, Scientists Invent Slow-Melting Ice Cream. Not to brag, but I have a new 6" smartphone that is so smart, it's graduating from college early with a PhD in Wikipedia and there's a magical box in the kitchen that washes my dishes! Impressive list. 

Then, there's stuff that you can't believe you ever, in your stupid life tried to live without. A Spanish gynecology clinic wants to tap into the early tech fetal-music market with Babypod, a speaker that expecting mothers insert IN TO their wedding caves to play songs for their unborn babies.

Babypod claims its device "stimulates the vocalization of babies before birth through music and encourages their neural development." Now sure, that sentence is a massive payload of horseshit but if you want to sit around, gestating with a couple of Bose headphones crudely taped to your belly - you go right ahead and not really give two shits about your unborn progeny.  It's not like you ever wanted to raise talkers, anyway. 

Babypod state, “By placing a speaker inside the vagina, we overcome the barrier formed by the abdominal wall and the baby can hear sounds with almost as much intensity and clarity as when emitted.”  I know! Here! Take ALL my money [$187.64AU]. And to share the experience, your partner can shove a sound bar up his/her puckered anus as you both blissfully blast the baby with some Nickleback or Drake - let it know what it's in for when it arrives. 

Plus, it's pink! They sure do know how us ladies love pink things. Especially things for shovin' up our grumpshens. I don't know about you but I'm disappointed that this tech wasn't around when I was preggo with my boys. It almost makes me wish you could shove 'em back in. Both were caesarian births so my pelvic floor has not needed restumping or shoring up. Think woman, THINK!

   

Non Je Ne Regret Rein, get yours now - before they discover Bluetooth technology shatters the growing nails and teethbuds of a developing foetus. 

Yeesh! When I think back... in MY day we had to be content with my dumb analogue husband shouting down the ear trumpet we kept in my fecund pants. No wonder my kids think Psy is music. Such a failure.  Still, we never planned them anyway so you take what you get if you're not invited. 

Thursday
Dec312015

2015, Our Year In Review

Although, it has been a shit one for many. We remain pretty lucky. Skating through the year with only flesh wounds, 2015 has been ok. The boys have now finished grades 1 and 3 respectively !! (excuse me while I have a little lie down) and are looking forward to bigger, better new year adventures. Me thinks surely ONE of them will get a job this year?!

Ben catapulted us into the future with the long-wanted purchase of an all-electric car, named Claude [we didn't name him, he came that way]. The perfect to and fro car. Zippy as hell up our hills and saving us $100's a month in petrol. As soon as we throw a few more solar panels on our roof, Mr Helios can start fully paying for our transportation (and the use of our microwave and washing machine). 

In April we acquired a new fur baby - who ironically is probably the oldest thing in the house - Mr Boyd Harris you slipped in, seamlessly. If you could just sort our your shedding problem... ;-) 

Linda/Arnie and I have performed a bit more than recent years. Such wicked fun and an extra delight to work with SO many new (& old) pals.  Miss Itchy remains the best fun you can have in a tight taffeta frock with your very bess fat fren. THE. BEST! 

Mum AND Dad have frequented the Eye & Ear and Eastern hospitals at a rapid clip this year, earning them both designated parking spots right at the front door.  However, an end of year clean bill of health makes it OK. [We wont even bother bringing up MY ridiculous hospitalisation this year!].

Noel and Julie got married, on Mum and Dad's 50th anniversary! A very relaxed, casual fun day. Angus summonded a Dr Who vibe as he played the role of Best Li'l Man and Tild was resplendant in blue teeny bridesmaid of honour. And now there's another Julie Younger in the world. ;-) 

And Helen finished off the year with a last minute trip to ER to get 4 stitches in her hand! That's why she can't have nice, shiny, crystal things. Onya, Sis. 

We've had holidays, fun, LOTS of sport, great food, fun adventures and indulged great art - in all it's forms. Thanks 2015 - we're done with you now, please shut the big brass door on your way out. 

Here's our year in review [in 350 odd pics] - you'll might even see yourself.